The truth is tearing up my heart, I cant recognize this place. The endless road, without a stop sign, cant even find a stranger this time. Why am I still holding back my tears, in this loneliness there's nothing to fear. Every chords still seem a wonder, how we could be together. Every time I asked if this would be the last. Why am I still talking to myself, hoping you would have the keys to my cell. Every song might calm the weather, but it just draws me deeper. How do I get out of this I think, I never will.
I'm bored and I'm seriously tired of my life. Omg it's just like shit. Eat, shit, study, tv, computer, sleep. Nothing else. Sometimes I wonder if anybody actually understands me. Oh God please take me away. I'm so tired of this unpredictable life. I'm so tired of this useless and boring life, full with quarrels, unhappiness.
And I'm here giving people advice. But deep down inside I need advice myself too. It's just I don't know whom can I pour all my troubles, my doubts, all my heart-felt feelings to. I can't find one. I totally hate myself. I'm always negative. Nothing I do is positive. Everyday I tell myself 'I can do it' but actually 'I cant' always appear in my mind. I think all my friends can't stand me for being negative. I wanna be a positive person, like what Pastor always ask us to be. But I can't. I totally need a counselor to counsel me. Totally impossible for me to handle all these alone. I want a break. A break from everything. I feel like breaking down. I feel like dying.
How I wished I can turn the clock back to right it was supposed to be, when I met you, when I knew you. I'll erase everything I don't like to make myself happy. How I wished I could fly back to the past too. To remove all those unhappiness. From the day you stopped talking. Too bad that's not going to happen. Happiness only happens in fairy tales, and I definitely hope my life was a fairy tale.
Sometimes I wonder why am I sent down to Earth. It's seriously meaningless.
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